Finding Davey: A Father's Search for His Son in the Afterlife

Note: On August 17, 2018 I released my book: Finding Davey: A Father's Search for His Son in the Afterlife. It is available on Amazon in both Paperback and Kindle formats.

When I started writing Finding Davey it wasn't because I wanted to write a book. It was because I wanted to keep a journal of what was happening to me as I navigated my way out of the profound grief I found myself in. Initially it was a struggle just to get through each day; so much of my life had been turned upside down by the death of my son that I found myself in free-fall, grasping for anything stable.

Most days I would write down how I felt and record my thoughts. This was not intended to be a cathartic exercise; the writing was often very difficult and required that I re-experience the emotions as I wrote down how I had been feeling. Many tears were shed on my keyboard in the early stages. I did it because I wanted to see if I was in fact getting better. When you've fallen down a hole so deep you cannot see the light above you, getting any sense of progress while attempting to climb out is vitally important. When I wondered if I would ever feel happy again I would look back to the week before and see what I was experiencing.

Over time I saw a distinct change in my journal. The sadness was slowly replaced by growth; by exploring meditation, mindfulness, spirituality, life after death, etc., I was growing. I was getting closer to the rim of that deep hole, even when I still couldn't see any daylight.

As the days turned to weeks, the weeks to months, I found myself looking back at the progress I had made and feeling better. I began to engage with other parents that had lost their children and found myself in the company of people at dramatically different levels of healing. Some had lost children years before we had lost Davey and they were still struggling just to get through each day.

Being a member of the club no parent ever wants to join means you have a special bond with fellow club members. As my wife Allison and I improved I found myself gently encouraging members of our club, cheering them on, trying to convey that life could become more beautiful than ever before. The book was born of the need to help other parents find happiness again.

Finding happiness doesn't mean you need to forget your child or pretend everything is "back to normal". Just as you cannot travel back in time and change the outcome of the event that triggered the grief, you cannot return to your old life exactly the way it was. There may be some elements that remain the same but most of it will need a new normal. It is my contention that the new normal can be a happy and joy filled life, but first it requires believing that it is possible.

It is my sincere hope that Finding Davey can become a helpful tool for bereaved parents that want to heal, especially for fathers that may struggle with skepticism and rigid thinking like I did.

Below is the foreword for my book, written by Suzanne Giesemann. A fellow parent that has lost a child, Suzanne is a well known medium and spiritual teacher working tirelessly to demonstrate that life doesn't end at death.

I hope you will consider reading the book, especially if you have suffered the loss of someone close to you, or consider recommending it to someone that is struggling through grief.


Foreword to Finding Davey
If one were to stereotype an engineer, certain characteristics come to mind: analytical, logical, methodical, science-based, and no-nonsense. The author of this book, David Alison, typifies all of those terms. But David Alison is also a loving husband and father, and it is this identity that led him to write this moving book. As the result of the death of his son, Davey, David had the impetus and the courage to go where many men and most engineers dare not venture: into the world of the unseen and the unproven.

I had the honor and pleasure of meeting Davey before I met his father. I got to know Davey during a one-hour session conducted with David’s wife, Allison. I am an evidential medium, and Allison contacted me in hopes of connecting with Davey across the veil. As you will read later in this book, we did exactly that. Davey is an outstanding communicator with a vibrant spirit, who made the session with him easier than most.

With my background as a Navy commander and commanding officer, I can identify with David’s left-brain mentality. Having endured the sudden death of my stepdaughter Susan, I can also identify with what a family goes through when a child crosses the veil—Susan’s passing caused me to embark on a journey quite similar to David’s. I can promise you, David’s grief did not make him lose his grip on reality. Quite the opposite. Because of Davey’s passing, David has discovered a greater reality.

This book serves as a primer for parents with a child who has transitioned. It is especially important and valuable for men, particularly fathers, who are grieving. Parts of the Alison family’s story are difficult to read. Please do not put the book down or skip the painful parts that describe the events surrounding Davey’s passing. They are integral to David’s motivation in writing this book. At the risk of stereotyping again, I will say that for a man, David has done an excellent job of describing the emotional trauma he and his family suffered. Since he has shared his feelings and experiences so openly, readers in a similar situation will know that they are not the only ones going through such trauma. All will understand why David stretched himself beyond his comfort zone and traditional worldview to do as the title suggests and find Davey.

It has been proven that by reading stories of others’ experiences, we are more likely to have such experiences of our own. David Alison shares here a multitude of signs and encounters he has enjoyed with Davey since his son’s transition. In my classes and workshops, I teach methods to increase the likelihood of such experiences, and I can assure you that the events you will read about can be believed and trusted.

I have sat with thousands of people in grief. Most want desperately to have the kind of experiences David describes in this book, but few achieve this level and quantity of interaction. This is a testament to David’s discipline and dedication and to Davey’s powerful soul.

David and Allison are outstanding examples of Shining Light Parents. This is a new term that we hope you will share with others after reading Finding Davey. A Shining Light Parent is one whose child has left the physical body, but whose light continues to shine as an ongoing presence in the family’s heart and home.

The term is a positive replacement for the term “bereaved parent,” reflecting an awareness that the light of the soul cannot be extinguished on either side of the veil. “Shining Light Parent” carries different meanings depending on where one is in the healing process:

  • As one begins the healing journey after a passing, it is the child in spirit—like Davey—who is the Shining Light. It is their light that keeps us going.
  • Moment by moment, thanks to unmistakable signs from those across the veil, undeniable synchronicities, and support from others, those still in physical form begin to feel the light within themselves once again.
  • With the help of the Shining Lights across the veil, those here who are doing the challenging work of healing after a passing begin to serve as shining examples for those new to the journey. The child who has passed rejoices in this healing. It no longer feels right to call such people “bereaved parents.” Like David and Allison, they have graduated to full status as “Shining Light Parents.”

If you are a bereaved parent and look forward to being able to call yourself a Shining Light Parent, by all means follow David’s examples: Read books on the afterlife. Go to conferences about the afterlife. Attend workshops or classes with those who legitimately and regularly connect across the veil. Meditate or practice presence regularly. Seek guidance from and ask questions of Higher Consciousness. Constantly check your belief system: is it helping or hindering you? Be open to the signs your loved ones are sending you. When you receive an undeniable sign or a visit from your loved one, honor that! Talk to your Shining Lights often and know that they hear you. Most of all, as David Alison so courageously demonstrates, don’t worry what others think or say. It’s not their journey. It’s yours.

Finding Davey shows that it is possible to heal from the death of a child. The light of the soul may grow dim temporarily as we face life’s inevitable challenges, but that spark never goes out. May we celebrate the eternal life of Davey and all of those who have passed by making every effort to turn up our lights in their honor.

Suzanne Giesemann
Author and Evidential Medium


The photo of Davey and me at the top of this post sits prominently on my desk, and adorns the back of Finding Davey. Our family was goofing around in the back yard, taking pictures on a warm summer afternoon. Davey and Julia were about to head off to their respective college campuses. We broke up into little groups, taking dozens of photos.


When it was time for Davey and me to take our picture together, Davey said "Hey dad, let me get on your back!" and before I knew it he had jumped up there, clinging to my neck.

I was in my bare feet and standing uncomfortably on the rocky path in our garden, my feet already in pain from the rough edges digging into my soles. The sudden addition of a 165lb squirming man on my back ramped the pain level up dramatically. While this was happening Allison was trying to take the picture and saying "David, smile! Come on, smile!" My son could not control his laughter, which happened a lot with Davey.

More than a few profanities escaped my clenched teeth, which I had forced into what I thought was a reasonable facsimile of a happy smile. Every curse word sounded like it came from a ventriloquist, which made Davey's laughter intensify. His shaking body amplifying the pain in my feet. When he finally jumped off my back it took him a long time to compose himself.

I didn't know it at the time but the pain I was enduring would give me my favorite photo of the two of us. Even painful experiences can create something beautiful if you give it time.

Comments

I love following your journey. What a beautiful moment to have captured, even if it will be forever in your hearts.
David Alison said…
@Franciska - Thank you so much. It's been great being a part of your journey too!
Unknown said…
This is now the third book in this new genre. I published my son's book in 2012 My Life after Life (www.dreamtreaderpress.com). Then came McKay's book https://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Jordan-Learned-Invisible-Universe/dp/1608683737
Seeking Jordan and now Finding Davey
Unknown said…
Hello David,
I've only just discovered you and your book is on my Christmas List. I would have bought it straightaway but my daughter said 'please mum, let me get it for you for Christmas' (I can't wait!)
Like you, we lost our youngest boy, Michael in March 2017. Life is such a blur. The spark is gone and I wake each day trying to do something worthwhile, often ending up sleeping the day away. Michael was such a believer in Eternity, the Afterlife, Spirits, the Buddhist Philosophy...etc. I WAS the worlds biggest sceptic. I am slowly realising that there MUST be more than this sad life I am living.
I just want to say thank you and I am looking forward to hearing how you communicated with your lovely boy Davey.

Best wishes
Mij
David Alison said…
@Mij - Thanks for the kind words. I hope you find the book helpful!

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